Let me explain why quitting drinking is so important to me.
As I said before, over the past two years, I’ve felt that I need to start living a healthier lifestyle. My body was telling me this the whole time. But I didn’t listen. I decided to “have fun and live my life,” because I’m only young once. Everyone drinks and smokes, and I can do that too. I decided to ignore my knowledge, my feelings. EVEN THOUGH that’s exactly why I left my home country—to come here and heal myself.
Why do I need to heal myself?
Well… hmmm, this is going to be a long story. I’ll tell you everything, but I’ll start by saying that I wasn’t feeling well at all. I was overworked. I felt tired all the time and just wanted to rest, not take care of others anymore. My energy reserves were completely depleted, but I kept going.
Many of my symptoms got worse. I’d had severe headaches since I was a small child. I always thought they were related to my sensitivity to stress. As soon as things got tough at school, during training, or in life in general, I felt like I was going to collapse, and I would get these severe headaches—not just headaches, but also neck and back pain.
As I mentioned in my previous post, I worked at a private clinic, which I really liked, but I felt so damn bad about myself and my health. Of course, going to parties made the situation even worse, but I convinced myself that I needed it—because how else could I take a break from all that stress?? But I also felt conflicted, because I wondered how I could tell other people what they should do to get healthy when I wasn’t setting an example myself.
Before leaving my home country, I had severe headaches for a whole month straight; I felt terrible, my vision got really bad, and I thought it was because I was spending so much time on the computer.
I went to get my eyes checked and told them I had really bad headaches. After examining my eyes, they said, “No wonder you have headaches—you need glasses, and you should wear them all the time, especially when working on the computer.”
I thought to myself that, luckily, I now have a solution to my headache problem. Once I get my glasses, everything will be fine.
When I got my glasses, I realised I had been mistaken; things did improve a little, but the headache remained.
Please bear with me… to be continued…:)
With love,
The Human Goddess
Writings of The Human Goddess 